DVD Review - Seconds Apart (2011)

Seconds Apart, 2011.

Directed by Antonio Negret.
Starring Orlando Jones, Edmund Entin and Gary Entin.


SYNOPSIS:

Damned from the moments of their births, two brothers possess a gruesome talent for telekinesis - a power they use in the most horrific ways imaginable.


If cinema history has taught us anything, it’s that twins are scary as hell and not to be trusted. Case in point is Seconds Apart, a chiller/thriller from Colombian director Antonio Negret and first-time feature writer George Richards.

The twins in question are played by real life twins Gary and Edmund Entin who are quite simply excellent in their roles. They are genuinely creepy and feel like a cross between Ricky Fitts from American Beauty and the Grady Daughters from The Shining. While their dialogue feels fairly forced and clichéd, the Entin twins do a very good job of making the content fit the bill.

The Entins are supported by a relatively unknown cast including Samantha Droke in the “love interest” role and Morgana Shaw and Louis Herthum as the equally creepy parents of the films main characters. The only real “star” of the film per say is comedian Orlando Jones who plays Detective Lampkin. It feels particularly odd to watch Jones in such a serious role but he actually holds the screen quite well.

However, Lampkin is a major part of the biggest deterrent for the film. There is a horribly contrived sub plot about the detective’s dead wife that has been shoehorned in for no real reason. It’s terribly written, woefully put together and is a huge distraction from the main plot. Not only is it incredibly boring, but it almost ruins the flow of the movie.

When you’re watching a chiller/thriller, you will undoubtedly be waiting for the twist that will either make or break the movie. Luckily for Seconds Apart, the film’s twist falls into the former category. It’s very well written and incredibly creative. However, I would argue that the final moments of the film are not enough to satisfy an audience.

While Seconds Apart does have its moments, it is by no means a great film. The set pieces of the film are very well executed and Negret does create a great feeling of unease, but Richards’ script doesn’t hold enough water to carry it through the 86 minutes. Perhaps diehard fans of the genre will enjoy it for what it is, everyday movie viewers may find the piece to be hokey and ineffectual.

Luke Owen

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An American Werewolf in London Zoo

Luke Owen reports on a special Halloween screening of An American Werewolf in London courtesy of Volkswagen's "See Film Differently"...


Last Sunday, on Halloween, I was invited to the first instalment of Volkswagen’s ‘See Film Differently’ programme – a project that aims to “turns the camera on the locations” by screening films in the places they were shot. Their first stop? London Zoo. The film? John Landis’ 1981 horror classic, An American Werewolf in London.

When I first heard about See Film Differently, I thought the idea was genius. I’ve always been a big fan and supporter of filming on location rather than sets and felt the idea of screening films in those locations would be a great experience. With some props, tours and insider knowledge thrown into the mix, it would be a great evening and a once in a lifetime experience.

I was very excited.

Upon arriving at London Zoo’s entrance, I was immediately impressed with the sign for The Slaughtered Lamb hanging up outside. I knew that I would be getting authentic props from the film and this was a great way to kick things off. It was only a small touch, but it really set the bar for the evening.


We all signed in and were handed our itinerary for the events that would follow – a 60 minute tour of the zoo (including locations), an introduction to the project, an hour and a half exhibition and the screening to follow. So, a packed evening – excitement levels were rising.

After being split into two groups, the tour began. I say tour, but that’s not what we got...

Alarms bell started to ring when our “tour guide” asked if any of us had ever been to London Zoo before, upon answering, “yes” he replied with, “oh good, I’ve never been here before so maybe you’ll be able to show us round”. That’s right, our tour guide had never been to the place he was showing us round.

Amused I was not.

The alarm bells turned into very loud warning noises when he then asked, “has anyone here seen the film? Because there is a film location around here and I don’t know where it is”.

Worried I was getting. I was frankly annoyed by this excuse for a “tour guide” who was being paid for not knowing anything. He seemed far more interested in looking at some animals and taking pictures than showing us round the locations. This was not a good start.

What followed was, thankfully, not a full hour’s tour of London Zoo. Because the place was closed for the day, most have the animals had been moved to their respective confinements and homes - which meant we were treated to a Jurassic Park-esque look at empty cages and pens hoping to see some animals but ended up seeing nothing. The tour was a disaster; our tour guide bumbled around trying to find things for us to look at and coming up short. And what made matters worse is that we didn’t see any locations – which I’m fairly sure was the whole point of the tour. We didn’t go to the wolf enclosure, we didn’t go to the point where a naked David Naughton jumps out and greets a frightened Elizabeth Bradley and nor did we see the bush from where he steals the balloons off the little boy. The only “location” we did see was a park bench that David runs past and grabs an old ladies coat from.



Skip to 1:01 for the “location” how it was in 1981

Me on the park bench nearly 30 years later
My confidence in the evening had been knocked – but things were about to pick up.

At Mappin Pavilion, where the bench was situated, we were greeted by Wainwright (or Wayne Wright – a topic of great discussion among some of the people in attendance), a ‘London Zoo keeper’ who told us about the history of the bench. He had this great spiel talking about how in 1981 a naked American man ran around the zoo stealing balloons and coats, which added a great sense of novelty to the proceedings. He was a very entertaining man and a brilliant way of bridging the gap between the “tour” and the exhibition.

Welcomed in warmly with free booze, popcorn and pretzels, we walked into the See Film Differently exhibition and viewed upon some great props, storyboards and behind-the-scenes photos from the production - they a great job of presenting them and should be highly applauded for their efforts. The highlight of it all was the “Change-o-Head”, used in the first transformation scene, in full operation and glory.



If I was to criticise the exhibition portion of the evening, I would have to say that an hour and a half was far too much time to look around - seeing as you could clear every prop and picture, take a photo of each and read all the factoids in about 20 minutes. But, it was a huge step up from the tour that had preceded it.

The screening itself was an absolute joy. We were provided with a small meal (fish and chips in a cardboard box), more free drinks and a great introduction from Paul Davis, director of Beware The Moon – a fascinating and detailed documentary about the film (which can be found on the 2 disc edition DVD). The film was presented on a digital format, something I was almost disappointed by as I was hoping for a film print version – however, according to the event organisers, Landis only likes his films to be shown digitally nowadays. This was not a hindrance at all though; it was an excellent screening.

I’d had a really good evening. While it wasn’t perfect, it was really enjoyable. The idea is there for ‘See Film Differently’ and I can forgive them for a few hiccups here and there because this was the first screening of project. I am fully behind and supportive of Volkswagen and hope to see more of this programme in the future. I would also recommend people go to one if they ever get the chance.


Continue on to the review.

Luke Owen

“The wolf's bloodline must be severed; the last remaining werewolf must be destroyed. It's you, David.” – Jack Goodman, An American Werewolf in London

See Film Differently: An American Werewolf in London (1981)

An American Werewolf in London, 1981.

Directed by John Landis.
Starring David Naughton, Griffin Dunne and Jenny Agutter.


SYNOPSIS:

After being attacked on the moors by a lycanthrope, an American student finds himself afflicted by the curse of the werewolf.


[Note - this review is from the Halloween screening held at London Zoo as part of Volkswagen's "See Film Differently" programme - read our report on the event here]

An American Werewolf in London tells the story of two travelling Americans, David Kessler (David Naughton) and Jack Goodman (Griffin Dunne) on their travels across Europe. En-route, they stop over in the North of England where they are attacked by a werewolf - Jack is killed but David survives and takes on the werewolf bloodline. The locals, who have been cursed by the werewolf for many years, see this as a prime opportunity to rid their village of the beast by dumping the Kessler boy in London - where he is cared after by Nurse Alex Price (the gorgeous Jenny Agutter). The curse of the werewolf hangs over David as he is plagued by horrible dreams and gets frequent visits from his dead friend Jack who is trapped in limbo until the werewolf bloodline is severed. Not only that, but when the next full moon appears, he is going to go through some changes...

Werewolf is a truly amazing film from a filmmaking standpoint. Something that I noticed more than ever from this screening was how funny the film is. For a motion picture that is inherently a horror film, there are a lot of funny moments in it – David’s boredom around Alex’s house, Jack’s deadpan look on the afterlife and the opening sequence in The Slaughtered Lamb are all great examples of how light hearted the film can be and, more impressively, how British the film is. Bearing in mind that is written and directed by an American filmmaker, Werewolf in London feels incredibly English and has an almost homely sense of pride to it.

Despite the fact the film is about a werewolf, there are only 3 scenes (including the initial attack) that feature the beast – all of which probably clock up to about 15-20 minutes of footage. The rest of the film is spent brilliantly on the relationships between the characters and building up the tension to the first lunar-fuelled activity. It’s handled so well by Landis that you can’t help but be impressed.

But of course, the scene the film is most remembered and revered for is its bone crunchingly horrible yet brilliant transformation scene. Landis does an incredible job of making the audience feel the pain David is going through as he changes from man to beast. We feel every crack of his bones, every hair growing out of his body and every excruciating moment that he goes through. It’s a marvel of filmmaking and special effects that has yet to be topped by any werewolf-based movie since.

An American Werewolf in London is hands down one of the finest horror movies made in the 80s and still holds up to this day nearly 30 years on. Its special effects are impressive, the acting is great and the direction is world class. The script is incredibly detailed in comedy, horror and drama and never once feels like it’s juggling too many balls at once. If you’ve never seen the film before, go out and buy the 2 disc edition DVD or the newly released Blu-Ray – you won’t regret it.

Oh, and remember to stick to the roads when you do – steer clear of the moors.

Luke Owen

“The wolf's bloodline must be severed; the last remaining werewolf must be destroyed. It's you, David.” – Jack Goodman, An American Werewolf in London

Friday The 13th Retrospective - Part 2: From the Grave to Space

Luke Owen examines the classic horror franchise Friday the 13th in the second of a two-part feature... read part one here.

While the first half of the Friday series was a bit hit (parts 1, 2 & 4) and miss (parts 3 & 5), the latter half was more cut and dry in the miss department. The franchise was in a decline. With box office takings dropping and the interest in the series dwindling, Paramount was to take drastic measures to install some appeal back into the franchise. The first step? Bring back Jason.

Jason Lives: Friday the 13th Part VI (McLoughlin, 1986)

After the disaster that was A New Beginning, the decision was made to bring Jason back into the series as its full time villain. Even though having Tommy become the new killer would have been an interesting plot development, it’s not what the fans wanted. They wanted Jason.

After the incident with the copycat killer of New Beginning, Tommy Jarvis is still being haunted by dreams of Jason and needs to know that he is really dead. So he and one of the other Pinehurst patients escape to go and visit the grave of the supposedly deceased Mr. Voorhees. Upon finding his grave, Tommy opens it up to find Jason is really dead as is evident by the decomposing body. In a fit of rage, Tommy stabs Jason in the chest which, with a stroke of unfortunate luck, gets struck by lightning and brings Jason back to life.

So, they’re not taking it too seriously then.

This isn’t a terrible film. Tom McLoughlin does a good job of adding some fun comedy into the film to break the monotony of the stalk and slash genre. The paintball scene in particular is quite funny if a little bizarre considering the film it’s placed in. The death sequences are well played out and the pacing of the film is very well done. The final climactic scene is excellent and does a great job of leaving it open ended for a sequel without resorting to the tried and tested “wake up from a dream” ending. Its continuation of the Tommy Jarvis arc works really well and, despite him being played by yet another actor, we can identify with him because we know what he’s been through the past couple of films. In fact, this could be one of the stronger entries to the series.

Speaking of furthering the story, there were rumours abound that this film would have introduced Elias Voorhees, Jason’s father. The biggest clue to this comes from Jason’s grave being plotted next to his mothers – hinting that someone paid for it to be there. McLoughlin even went so far as to have a treatment for the character, describing him as a silent yet intimidating character with red hair. In the novelisation of the film, Simon Hawke explored this by detailing out the purchasing of the plot of land and him witnessing his son's drowning at the end of the film. While this was never explored in the films (apart from a brief mention in Jason Goes To Hell), it has made for some interesting canonicity. My personal feelings behind this are ones of positivity. If you recall my issues I had with the convoluted back story surrounding Freddy Krueger in my Nightmare retrospective, this character introduction would have only bogged down the plots progression while at the same time serving no purpose. This is evident in Elias’ appearance in other forms of Friday cannon; most notably Jason vs. Leatherface and the Jason X spin off novel Death Moon. These incarnations of the character all conflict with one another and don’t help further any form of the overall Friday myth – and this was something that the film canon really didn’t need.

Paramount had answered the fans demands and had brought Jason back from the dead. So what was next for this now seemingly immortal zombie killer? A teenage girl with psychic powers.

Jason was about to meet his match.

Friday the 13th Part VII: The New Blood (Buechler, 1988)

Part 2 of the drastic measures of installing some more interest in the series came in the slender form of Tina, a 17 year old girl who accidently killed her abusive father when she was 7 years old using her psychic powers. Traumatised by her actions, Tina’s mother helps her seek counselling with the seemingly innocent Dr. Crews. Part of her counselling sees her return to the house where he father died, which just so happens to be next to the lake were Jason has been laying dormant for the last 10 years. After one of Tina’s freak outs, she runs out to the lake and thinks she feels her father’s presence at the bottom of the lake. She uses her telekinetic powers to try and raise him out of the waters. She raises something alright, a very pissed off Jason Voorhees.

I love this entry and I’m never 100% sure why. The plot is wafer thin, the acting is pretty awful and the premise is just ridiculous. Jason fighting a teenager with telekinetic powers? Who came up with that idea?

Well, a lot of the writing for the film is shrouded in mystery. Original writer Daryl Haney, who came up with the “Jason vs. Carrie” concept, was fired after his agent told the producers that he wanted a bigger pay cheque (a comment that Haney claimed he never made) and the rest of the script was completed by a Manuel Fidello. The thing is that Manuel Fidello doesn’t exist. As far as I’m aware, the replacement writer of The New Blood still remains unknown to this day.

Even more interestingly behind the history of the film is that it was destined to be Freddy vs. Jason. Sean S. Cunningham had put the idea forward and talks were in place. The only problem was that Paramount and New Line Cinema (owners of the respective franchises) couldn’t come to an agreement on who would have the control over the film (something that would leave the film in development hell for years to come). It is from my understanding that the “Jason has met his match” was the initial idea when bringing Freddy across. When New Line pulled out, Freddy was replaced with Tina and dream invading was replaced with telekinesis. This could however be an unfounded statement seeing that a lot of the pre-production side of The New Blood remains unknown.

While writing this section of the review, I went back and re-watched The New Blood to see if I could hammer down what it was about this entry that I liked. And the conclusion that I have come to is that Jason looks great.

This may seems like quite an insignificant cog in an otherwise sub standard machine, but Jason’s look is so improved in this film from previous instalments in terms of believability that it raises the bar of the film on a dramatic and immersive level. The suit he wears in the 6th film is now dissolved and ruined from 10 years of slumber at the bottom of the lake, his face has become even more decomposed since he rose from his grave and his mask is discoloured from the lake and wrecked from Tommy’s knife attack of Final Chapter as well the propeller attack of Jason Lives. It’s these attentions to detail that really sell me on the film. It takes the franchise from just your bog standard hack and slash soirees into a series with continuity, thought and dedication.

The box office still wasn’t reacting to the film. They needed to take Jason in a new direction.

And boy were they taking him somewhere.

Friday the 13th Part VIII: Jason Takes Manhattan (Hedden, 1989)

What a great premise. Taking Jason out of the environment we’d seen him in for the last 7 movies to somewhere that not only exists but is known the world over. They also had a great marketing campaign that had Jason tearing through a “I love New York” poster and a great tag line, “New York Has a New Problem” (something that the New York tourist department were not happy about). Paramount was almost guaranteed to have the people queuing around the corner, just as they had done nearly 10 years ago.

But they were wrong.

Jason Takes Manhattan is so boring. It’s nonsensical, badly acted, badly scripted, badly put together and just so ungodly boring. For a film to advertise Jason “taking” Manhattan, he is only there for about the final 20 minutes of the film and when he is there, it looks a lot like Vancouver. The rest of the film is set on an ugly looking boat with boring decor and ends up being the Crystal Lake woods without the trees.

The problem was that after Rob Hedden had finished his final draft of the script he was informed by Paramount that his budget was to be slashed (no pun intended) and he could no longer afford to film at all the New York locations he’d planned. Elaborate death sequences and set pieces were written to take place in Madison Square Garden, the Brooklyn Bridge and the Empire State Building but they all had to be cut due to financial restraints. Instead the film had to be replaced with a boat trip to Manhattan for ¾ of the film and a stupid asinine back story between Jason and the leading lady Jensen.

The other problem is that the film doesn’t follow on from any form of continuity laid out by the previous instalments. Jason is now back in the water (despite being blown up in a house), his clothes have changed, his mask (bearing in mind that he picks up a new one) remarkably has the Tommy Jarvis knife attack but not the Jason Lives propeller damage, he doesn’t look as decomposed as he did in The New Blood and he’s been given a stupid convoluted back story to facilitate a boring sub plot of the film. Everything that they had right in The New Blood has been thrown out of the window and forgotten about and for me it really affects the film. And Rob Hedden can’t blame that on his budget cut.

The back story given here is that our leading heroine nearly drowned as a child whilst learning to swim because a young Jason (who was still in the lake) tried to grab her leg. She grew up traumatised by the water and has visions of this boy in the lake.

Completely ignoring the time frame inconsistencies, we know that Jason didn’t drown in Crystal Lake, because we’ve watched him as an adult for the last 6 movies. This is lazy, unjustified writing and no one bought into it. It hangs over the film like a bad fart in a filled church and really drags it down. This all leads to a completely nonsensical ending that really spoils what was already a pretty horrible picture.

The box office reception reflected the poor reaction the film received. Taking only $14 million made it the 2nd lowest earner in the franchise (the lowest was Jason X but that was down to its massive budget) and it is commonly agreed by fans as one of the worst entries in the series.

Paramount had had enough. The cinema takings had dwindled film by film and, despite them not costing that much and always making their money back, they didn’t think the franchise was worth keeping. By the end of 1989, the rights to the Friday the 13th franchise reverted back to the original producers of the first instalment who then sold it to New Line Cinema. Great news for series creator Sean S. Cunningham who wanted New Line to have the rights so he could make the Freddy vs. Jason film he planned in 1988.

With New Line now in control of both the Friday and Nightmare on Elm Street franchises, Cunningham’s plans were looking to be coming into fruition, but Wes Craven had other ideas…

Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday (Marcus, 1993)

Sean S. Cunningham had dreamed of making Freddy vs. Jason since before Paramount made The New Blood. Now that New Line Cinema held the rights to the respective franchises, all they needed was a good script. And that’s where all the problems started.

In the time it took to develop a script, 4 years had passed and Wes Craven, who was disappointed by Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare, announced he was going to make Wes Craven’s New Nightmare and finish of the franchise himself. With Freddy now being out of action in a different film, Freddy vs. Jason was once again shelved. With New Line having paid a lot of money of the franchise and not making a single penny back, Cunningham made the decision to make another Friday film. And this would be the final Friday.

With no explanation after the rubbish ending of Jason Takes Manhattan, Jason is once again back in Crystal Lake killing campers (there was a comic released that bridged the gap, but even that skipped over the crux of Manhattan’s terrible ending). Out of nowhere, an army task force show up and, quite literally, blow him up. With Jason now in bits, he is taken back for an autopsy. Whilst performing said autopsy, the doctor takes a bite out of Jason’s cold black heart and “transfers” the soul of Jason into this new body. This all leads to a convoluted mess where Jason is trying to make his way back to the Voorhees house to be “reborn” while trying to avoid a bounty hunter who has discovered that the only person who can kill Jason and send him to hell is his sister. I can almost hear the groans from the cinema audience.

As Albert Einstein once said, “Any intelligent fool can make things bigger, more complex, and more violent. It takes a touch of genius -- and a lot of courage -- to move in the opposite direction.” A lot of courage maybe, but there is nothing genius about this move at all.

This film is a mess. It’s all the over the place and so badly put together you have to wonder how this even made it past test audiences. Jason Takes Manhattan may be regarded was one of the worst entries in the series, but this is commonly agreed by many to be the worst of the lot.

The film was originally slated to called Friday the 13th Part IX: The Dark Heart of Jason Voorhees, which would have been a more appropriate title considering that none of this film is set in Hell and Jason has about 15 minutes of screen time. The rest of the time is spent with annoying and poorly written characters transferring the soul of Jason between each other. Keeping the titular character out of the film was a huge slap in the face of the audience who paid to see him.

The addition of Freddy’s daughter in Freddy’s Dead didn’t sit well with horror fans so it baffles me that Cunningham and his team thought it would be a great idea to add another member to the Voorhees clan. If you recall what I wrote many paragraphs ago regarding how the addition of Elias Voorhees would have needlessly convoluted things, well Jason Goes To Hell is all the evidence I need to back up my claim. Jessica is a horrible character with no charisma or charm and makes a mess of the entire back story to the franchise. She is so unnecessary and brings nothing to the table that her being there was just unneeded.

But the most annoying thing of all about this horribly turgid movie is that it’s only purpose of existence is to build up to Freddy vs. Jason. The final shot of the movie has Jason’s iconic hockey mask lying on the sand pit when Freddy’s trademark glove comes out of the ground and pulls it under. So Jason Goes To Hell was essentially an hour and a half trailer for a film that wouldn’t come out for another 10 years.

The Friday series had hit a brick wall and seemingly had come to an end. Sean S. Cunningham would spend the rest of the 90s trying to get Freddy vs. Jason off the ground but to no avail. As the new millennium drew in, it was time to bring Jason back on to our screens and be shown in a new light.

Jason X (Issac, 2001)

The 90s was quiet time for Jason Voorhees. Aside from the atrocious Jason Goes To Hell, he stayed away from our screens. The problem was that the audience who used to queue round the corner for the latest instalment no longer existed, they’d moved on. The slasher horror sub genre movement had come to a close.

That was until Wes Craven directed a screenplay entitled Scary Movie that would eventually grow up to be called Scream. It sparked a short lived and not well received slasher revival that would last up until the end of the decade.

During this time, Sean S. Cunningham was still working towards Freddy vs. Jason. A script had still yet to be agreed on, directors kept walking away from production and the whole process appeared to be stuck in that horrible limbo known as Development Hell. Cunningham was annoyed and frustrated. He turned to Todd Farmer and brought him on board to pen the 10th entry for the Friday series, a Friday the 13th for the new millennium so to speak. Jason was going on a one way trip to space.

In the year 2008, (it had to be set at this point as to not conflict with the Freddy vs. Jason timeline which coincided with the Friday timeline... not that they’d ever cared before) Jason has once again been captured and is now being held in Crystal Lake Research Facility where they plan to cryogenically freeze him. To the surprise of pretty much no one, Jason breaks free and starts to kill people. Remarkably enough he is actually frozen along with one of the doctors who was there to administer the procedure. They remain there until they are discovered by some students on a field trip in the year 2455. The students, unwisely, unfreeze both of their finds and Jason continues his murderous rampage.

This is the point the Friday series “jumped the shark”. Taking Jason into space was a last ditch attempt to install some energy back into this lifeless corpse – something they’d been trying to do for years. The thing that makes me laugh is that the Leprechaun series put its titular character into space as a joke, yet here is Sean S. Cunningham putting his creation into space as a way to bring some interest back into the franchise. So did it work?

Yes and no. The film polarises its fans, with some thinking it’s a bit of harmless Friday fun in space whereas the others think the film is a steaming pile of pants. Personally I’m in the former half with my left foot ever so slightly leaning into the latter.

The acting is bad and the dialogue is poor, as are its characters in all their stereotypical terribleness. But the death sequences are creative, the set pieces are well laid out and well presented and the overall feel of the film is a light and fun one – the kind of feeling I got when watching Jason Lives. This is by no means the worst of the series but it’s certainly not the best. But comparing it to Jason Goes To Hell, it’s an absolute masterpiece.

It’s becoming a fruitless argument to complain about the continuity of the hockey mask so I’m not going to bother because as with Jason Takes Manhattan and Jason Goes To Hell, the continuity of the look of Jason was thrown by the wayside. But this didn’t really matter because, as the tag line promoted, evil was about to get an upgrade.

Keeping the Uber-Jason idea quiet was such a tall order that it couldn’t be done. Had this movie been made before the internet then it would have been a cool reveal, however we live in a digital age and it’s hard to keep things under wraps. In the movie, Jason is blown to pieces by the cyborg character Kay-Em but is put back together by the nanotechnology of the ship into a half zombie, half robot killing machine in a shiny hockey mask. It was a bold move that could have back fired drastically, but fans reacted so positively to it when the images were leaked that they based the entire advertising campaign around it. Jason had been reinvented for a new age – and he actually looked kind of cool.

As stated, I do like this movie. It may not be a masterpiece but it really isn’t the worst of the series and it only gets a bad rap for its ridiculous plot. But it’s a lot of fun and an interesting and bold addition to the franchise. The film is definitely worth watching if only for the “frozen head smashing” death or the “virtual 80s” scene.

Luckily, depending on whose view point you take, the producers never had to tackle the “where do we go from here” as this was the last entry in this series. It had come to an end.

So where does the series stand in cinema history? Well, the first film will be forever in the hall of fame but a lot of its sequels will be quickly forgotten about. With only a few exceptions, the series itself is pretty poor and quite shoddy at times. The acting is never good, the plots are laborious and painfully repetitive (aside from some stupid plot points) and a lot of the production looks very dated and clichéd. As a horror fan, it’s difficult to show these films to people who don’t appreciate the art as a way to argue the case of slasher horror.

But, just like Nightmare on Elm Street, the series isn’t about the acting and it isn’t about the characters and it’s never really about the plot. It’s about Jason Voorhees killing amorous teens in various creative ways. We’ve watched this character as a young child being tortured by the older kids only for him to come back to have his vengeance. We’ve seen him die only to be brought back to life as a immortal killing zombie. We’ve seen him drown only to be resurrected so he could journey to Manhattan, Hell and even the deepest regions of space. It was a hell of a roller coaster ride, and I loved every bit of it.

In fact, the series itself is a lot like its main character Jason. Sure he’s a little bit ugly and sure he’s a little bit on the slow side but there is something redeemable and quite likeable about him.

Thoughts, opinions, questions all can be sent to to boddicker_scripts@yahoo.co.uk or visit my website www.boddicker-scripts.moonfruit.com

Luke Owen

“You see, Jason was my son and today is his birthday” – Pamela Voorhees (Friday the 13th, 1980)

Related:

A Nightmare on Elm Street Retrospective

Thoughts on... The Collector (2009)

The Collector, 2009.

Directed by Marcus Dunstan.
Starring Josh Stewart, Michael Reilly Burke, Andrea Roth, Karley Scott Collins and Juan Fernández.


SYNOPSIS:

An ex-con aims to repay a debt to his ex-wife by robbing his new employer's country home only to discover a second criminal known as "The Collector" has imprisoned the family and rigged the property with a series of deadly traps...


Saw meets Home Alone.

Back in 2004, I went to go and see a low budget psychological horror called Saw, a film that had me on the edge of my seat and gripped me all the way up to its fantastic climax. Little did I know as I walked out of that cinema that I would spend the next 6 years of my life watching that idea degenerate into turgid soft core snuff torture porn. As the series went on, it faced competition from Eli Roth’s Hostel and felt that it needed to “one up it” to keep in the game. The pair of them have made a load of terrible films that are devoid of plot and substance and are just flat out soulless gore fests. So when I discovered that I would be going to see The Collector, a film by the writers of the last 3 Saw films (and the upcoming 7th instalment), I had very low expectations.

Imagine my surprise when I left that cinema having quite enjoyed the film.

The film focuses itself on the oddly named Arkin (Josh Stewart) who, in order to help his wife from loan sharks, decides to rob the house of a jewel merchant played by Michael Reilly Burke who should be on holiday with his family. Unfortunately for Arkin, and the family, someone else got there first. A masked maniac who goes by the moniker of “The Collector”. Arkin discovers that the family didn’t go on holiday – they are chained up and are being tortured in the basement. Their youngest daughter is lost in the house, the eldest daughter isn’t aware of what’s going on and the house is filled with elaborate traps intended for killing. Arkin now faces a race against time to not only save the family from this masked man’s evil clutches, but also to steal from the family so he can save his own.

This film is more than just torture porn. It has an intriguing premise, some wonderfully amoral characters and some phenomenally orchestrated set pieces. The acting is a lot better than can be expected of this sort of film and Marcus Dunstan, for a first time director, does a great job of keeping the tension ramped up and in a high gear – something that is missing from most modern day horror films. But disappointingly, the film is not without its flaws.

The film has plot holes the size of a life sized photo of the moon that has been enlarged. The biggest of which unfortunately falls in the shape of The Collector’s booby traps. Cool though they may be, it’s rather unbelievable and inconceivable that he could set the traps up within the few hours in between Arkin leaving the house and returning. The Collector’s character motivations are left very ambiguous and no reasons are given behind his attack. This can sometimes work in a film's favour, but here it just feels a weak and unconvincing. There is also a gapping plot hole as to why the family didn’t go on holiday and why the daughter went out – but I don’t have enough time to go into every inconsistency. It’s a bit buggy in places and kind of detracts away from the otherwise great moments.

The other major problem I had with the film came in the last 20-25 minutes of the film. After an hour or so of great tension filled gory horror fun, the film nose dived into nothing more than a poor man’s Hostel. Gone was the tension, gone was the cleverly implemented horror set pieces, all that remained was a flat, limp and rushed mess. Just after I sang its praises for being more than just a torture porn film, it took the giant leap into the territory I hoped it wouldn’t.

Here’s my issues with these types of films. With each film having to go one step further than its predecessor, there’s going to come to a point where you’ll hit a brick wall. The easiest way to describe this is to compare it to the hardcore matches in professional wrestling. One day many years ago, two wrestlers did a match where one of the guys hits the other guy with a chair. But when the audience saw chair shots over and over again it lost its impact. So they slammed each other through tables. When that died down, you slam them into thumbtacks. When that runs out of steam, you set them on fire or slam them on broken glass or cut them with barbed wire. But when the crowd stop reacting to that, where do you go next?

The torture porn horror sub genre is suffering from the same problem. There were parts of The Collector that got no reaction from the audience, myself in particular, because we’d either seen it all before or it wasn’t as hardcore as something from the previous Saw films. There was a scene in the film in which The Collector sews a woman’s mouth shut which didn’t even raise a murmur from the film viewers. Don’t get me wrong, the film does have some innovative gruesome deaths that will test the stomachs of even the most hardened horror veteran, but you know that the next film is going to have to raise the bar to get those reactions again. But what if they can’t?

The Collector is ¾ of a great film with a disappointing flat ending. It will make back the money that was spent on it and it will probably spawn off a load of sequels which will probably make their money back too. But I do have my reservations about the longevity of this niche market.

Watch the trailer here.

Comments and suggestions to boddicker_scripts@yahoo.co.uk or visit my website www.boddicker-scripts.moonfruit.com

Luke Owen

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Low Budget Horror Films - A Fair Criticism

Luke Owen with his thoughts on the low budget horror debut...

Some people have accused me in the past of having double standards. I have criticised films such as Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen for having a terrible story structure, dreadful dialogue and awful acting. Yet I can sit and watch Happy Birthday to Me, a film with terrible story structure, dreadful dialogue and awful acting, and quite enjoy it. So how come some films can get away with it?

A couple of months ago, I went to a Q and A session with British filmmakers David Bryant and Sebastian Smith for their low budget horror film Dead Wood. During the session, we were given a free copy of the DVD and a copy of the script to read through. A couple of nights later, I popped the film into my DVD player and then sat through one hour and twenty five minutes of terrible film.

The film slumps around at a frighteningly slow pace, the acting is GCSE drama class bad and the script may have well been written in crayon on a piece of pink paper with a flower border. Dead Wood is 100% grade A dreadful from start to finish and it was difficult to get through in one sitting.

But I can get behind this film and its filmmakers in full support in a cheerleaders outfit and a big banner expressing my love and support.

Why? Because these people are first time filmmakers and they did it all by themselves. These are a group of friends who got together to make a cheeky horror film for little to no budget and try and make a name for themselves. It was a long process and it was a hard process and it cost them more money than planned. Well, seven years later it finally paid off when they got a DVD distribution deal with Lionsgate Films. The sad fact is that the DVD didn’t sell all that well and they didn’t make any of their money back. But the most important part of the process was that they have learned from the mistakes they made and won’t make them next time round. The next film they make will be a lot better than Dead Wood.

Filmmaking is a learning process. You can’t be taught how to be a good at it and you can’t buy your way into being good at it. You can take all the courses in the world you want but you have to physically go out and do it if you ever want to improve. Nearly all first time filmmakers will make a terrible film. They may think it’s the dog’s bollocks when they make it but over time they’ll realise it’s just bollocks. I should know, I’ve been there and I’ve done it.

This cropped into my mind last night while I was watching Backwoods Bloodbath, a low budget no frills horror film I picked up in ASDA for seven quid.

This has all the hallmarks of a true low budget horror affair. A group of teenagers go on a “get away” weekend to mourn the death of one of their friends. Whilst there, they encounter a local who tells them about “the horrors” that await them in the woods. The teens, predictably, ignore him and end up getting bumped off one by one in horrific ways.

The film gets off to a great start over the first hour (the first five minutes aside) and is really fun to watch. The characters are quite engaging and well thought out (if a little clichéd), the script is funny and not overly cheesy and the on-set make-up effects are outstanding. Some of the dialogue is interesting and well delivered and there are some genuinely excellent set pieces.

It’s not all positives unfortunately; the basic story premise is pretty weak and doesn’t sustain enough interest and debut camera operator Erin Castrapel frames some shots with such atrocious inaccuracy, which doesn’t help the film's already amateur look. The film also features some of the most unsexy sex scenes I’ve ever encountered. They looked really uncomfortable and were difficult to watch.

But it really falls off a cliff by the time the final act rolls in. The idea for it is actually pretty great and well thought out and how it plays out could have been a really strong ending to what had been quite an enjoyable film. But the acting gets so terrible, the direction disappears and the scene timing and progression are so badly executed that the film started to lose its appeal, which is a real shame.

This was never going to be a film that set the horror world on fire and it was never going to be hailed as a classic. But I’ve seen films in the same genre made for the same money that are much worse. It’s just frustrating that the film doesn’t deliver come the final 20 minutes.

But going back to my original point while discussing Dead Wood – this was their first film and I was not expecting miracles. What I got instead was a film with some great set pieces, some good comedy dialogue, some superb special effects and a terrible final half hour. This was a great first attempt at filmmaking and I’m sure Donn Kennedy and Brandon Semling will go onto make more films and will get better and better.

And I wish them the best of luck.

As always, thoughts and opinions to boddicker_scripts@yahoo.co.uk or visit my website www.boddicker-scripts.moonfruit.com

Luke Owen
“Why don’t you take a cue from my dick and go long” – Brent, Backwoods Bloodbath (2007)

Addendum: One final comment, this film won the New York Independent Film Festival award for Best Horror Feature. I can only imagine that no other films were nominated in that category.

Thoughts on... Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus (2009)

Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus, 2009.

Directed by Jack Perez (as Ace Hannah).
Starring Deborah Gibson, Lorenzo Lamas, Vic Chao, Sean Lawlor and Jay Beyers.


SYNOPSIS:

When two enormous prehistoric creatures contend for supremacy of the sea, the California coast becomes the setting for a showdown that's been centuries in the making.


When you give your film a name like Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus and your premise is that a really big shark and a really big octopus were frozen for millions of years and have now unfrozen so they can finish their fight in our time, you’d think you wouldn’t take it too seriously. I know I wouldn’t.

But The Asylum appear to be taking this film seriously. It’s almost unbelievable to watch. Not one hint of irony about the whole thing, not one slither of self parody, just a big lump of terrible film. And that is just the start of their problems.

It’s not the most professional thing for me to do, but I’m going to compare this film to better films in order to show exactly where they went wrong.

Remember in It Came From Beneath The Sea (1955) where the mutated octopus attacks the Golden Gate Bridge? Remember how that was built up to be an amazing spectacle? How they gradually built it up and then showed just how devastating the beast truly was? How we had to sit through the slow destruction of a well known landmark making it all the more effective? Well the producers of Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus have either not seen the film or felt like copying it. If it’s the former, then shame on them for not researching previous monster movies. And if it’s the latter, which I suspect, then they did a dreadful job of copying it.

I’ve not seen the “script”, but I imagine that scene looked like this:

EXT. SEA – DAY

The Shark swims towards the GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE.

INT. ARMY BASE – DAY

A guy on a radar points at it.

RADAR GUY
Oh my god! He’s heading for the bridge!

EXT. GOLDEN GATE BRIDGE

The Shark jumps up and bites the bridge.

INT. ARMY BASE – DAY

They all look sad.

CUT TO:

That’s it. An iconic scene from the Ray Harryhausen back catalogue copied poorly and butchered by a bunch of amateur hacks in about 4 shots. This is common with all of the destruction scenes in the film. In one scene, the octopus destroys an oil rig, but you would barely know because it’s skipped over so quickly and badly edited.

Remember how in Freddy vs. Jason (Yu, 2003) where they spent the entire movie building up to the final showdown between the two characters that feature in the title of the film? Remember how they spent a lot of time on that fight so the people got exactly what they paid to see? Well, it seems the Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus team didn’t get that memo on how to build up anticipation.

Our title characters are frozen mid-fight millions of years ago. They then get unfrozen in our time. You’d have thought they’d have come out with their gloves on ready for round 2. But it takes almost the entire movie for the scientists (they must be scientists, they’re wearing lab coats) to work out that in order to defeat them, they should make them fight each other. So instead of building up to a final showdown, we just get various piss poor set pieces of the two giants destroying various things with various bad CG shots that culminate in a terrible fight scene.

The fight scene itself can also be summed up in a short number of shots. I won’t bother scripting it out because I don’t think they did. But it’s over in a couple of moves and all those moves are the same. It’s really bad.

Remember how in Terror of MechaGodzilla (1975) the premise of the film was a giant monster fighting a giant robot version of himself? Remember how that could have appeared really silly but they made up for it by having an interesting and intriguing subplot that built up the main plot to be more credible? Well, Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus does a similar thing.

I’m joking. They did nothing of the sort. Because this film is awful.

It has one plot that moves along at the pace of a legless man in a 100 meter dash. It’s so boring and laborious that it’s hard to even write about. The plot isn’t all that engaging and the terrible acting and script do nothing to help it.

But what really grinds my gears is still that the film appears to be taking itself seriously. C’mon! You’re film is called Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. You are not making Ben Hur (1959). You didn’t see the makers of Snakes on a Plane (2006) or Eight Legged Freaks (2002) pulling this kind of brain dead stunt did you? No. Because they knew that they were making a cheeky little monster movie with their tongues placed firmly in their cheeks. These morons appear have their heads stuck up their own arses.

This film is horrible. It’s boring, the story sucks, the action is rubbish, the CGI is horrendous, the acting is atrocious, the soundtrack is lame, the camera work is awful, the editing is terrible, the direction is non-existence and the overall presentation is abysmal. Avoid at all costs.

Comments and suggestions to boddicker_scripts@yahoo.co.uk or visit my website www.boddicker-scripts.moonfruit.com

Luke Owen
“Welcome to prime time bitch!” – Freddy Krueger, Nightmare on Elm Street Part 3: The Dream Warriors (Russell, 1987)

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