Dreamliner Delayed After Engine Goes Kaput

BRITAIN – Boeing (NYSE:BA) has once again delayed the schedule for its new 787 Dreamliner. The hold up comes after a test engine broke down while running an on-ground test in England earlier this month. Boeing and Rolls-Royce Group, the maker of the engine, declined to comment on the “uncontained failure.” When asked about the dangerous failure and the impact it could have on an in-air flight, or even to the company as a whole, a spokesperson declined to comment.

“Jeez! Can anyone take care of it?” Andy “Raw” Kibbens, co-CEO of The Markets Are Open commented on the disaster. “This needs to be fixed fast.”

A Boeing spokesman, Jim Proulx said that only Rolls-Royce would comment. However, after being telephoned by the co-CEO of The Markets Are Open himself, Allan Edwards, Rolls Royce failed to return his call.

“See if I help you again.” Said Edwards in despise after trying to find out more information about the matter, and lend his own expertise. “You want a piece of me?” Edwards shouted into the answering machine. He stood up and smashed one of his model planes on the floor of his office, “Take that!”

Boeing suggested that the new plane which was originally set for release in May 2008, may be pushed into 2011. US Airways declined to comment if they would want the plane or not after the incident.

Kenya Airways told Ait Transport World magazine that it might cancel its order for 9 Dreamliners and buy Airbus planes instead. An Airbus spokesperson taunted Boeing saying “Let’s see how you handle our new ships,” referring to Airbus’ new planes in Europe.

Shares or Boeing were up 3% on the day as investors held their breaths and bought the stock anyways after it was beaten down over the past week.

Walmart Rips 190 Tons of Deli Meat off Store Shelves

Walmart is recalling potentially hazardous deli meats from its stores after a sample tested positive for Listeria. Health officials have not reported anyone infected by the bacteria as of yet, but they are pulling the meat as a precaution: so that no one gets ill due to the microbes.

The bacteria was found in the Marketside Grab and Go pre-made sandwiches – a common hideout for bacteria to lurk, especially if meat is present.

The delicious varieties of Marketside Grab and Go include: black Forest Ham, Italian Hero, Angus Roast Beef, and Smoke House.

“It is interesting that the bacteria can already thrive inside the pre-made sandwiches even though the expiry date is labelled for August 20th to September 10th,” said a health official while eating a slice of Black Forest Ham. “This stuff is still good for another few weeks.”

The bacteria is harmless to most people, but can cause several symptoms to people with weaker immune systems, such as nausea or high fever. In rare cases it can lead to death.
The recall does not include any of the meats from Walmart’s deli or other meat products.

Oil-Eating Bacteria Doing BP’s Dirty Work For Them: Study

A recent study shows that microbes in the Gulf of Mexico are eating away the crude oil left by the BP oil spill. The hydrophobic oil filling the waters and damaging marine life is slowly being dissipated by the hungry bacteria.

“This is a natural process,” said Van Yogdburg at California’s Riverside Laboratory, “The bacteria do in fact help, but they’re going to need more help.”

A government survey taken earlier this month estimated that 75% of the oil spilled has been skimmed, evaporated, or burned in a safe manner.

“We could have an excess of this bacteria,” calculated Dr. Franco L. Muronovich a Marine Biologist at the Lab, “but they should be perfectly harmless given their environment and the amount of oil in the water.”

Hard evidence from California’s Lawrence Berkely National Laboratory confirms this study; that these microbes are in fact degrading the oil in the Gulf.

There is still much work to be done in the Gulf, but BP can use all the help they can get.

Surprise Cisco Sale

CEO of Cisco, John Chambers, surprised investors far and wide when news broke out that the networking giant’s boss had sold an outstanding 243,178 at an average price of $22.50 per share. That amounts to $5,471,505 in cash. The move may have angered long term value investors who were holding onto the stock, as selling usually shows signed of weakness and uncertainty. However, CEOs usually sell their own stock for various reasons including retirement, needing the money, and just as a safe move if they believe the market will take the stock lower.

“Chambers always pull through.” Said star analyst and co-CEO of The Markets Are Open, Andy “Raw” Kibbens. “Cisco is a clear buy. You don’t sell a networking company when the Internet is growing faster than anything. Cisco has been growing over 20% per year.”

Stockbreifings.com had this to say:
“If you’re contemplating investing in Cisco Systems (NASDAQ:CSCO) stocks, make sure you make the trade at the right price. Timing the market or technical analysis might often a difficult task, but do make sure you take into account the price history”
http://www.stockbriefings.com/cisco-systems-nasdaqcsco-chairman-sell-off/3171542

“Now is the time to buy Cisco,” Kibbens retorted. “It’s trading one point above its 52-week low, and they’re worried about timing? Just buy the darn stock.”

Cisco is currently trading at $22.23 and has a 52-week low of $20.93.

Japan's Nikkei Feels the Pressure

Japan’s Nikkei slipped down in the trading session as market players worried that the strong Yen could hold back economic growth. The Bank of Japan (BJ) governor and the Japan PM talked on the phone on forex-Sengoku about currency, and agreed to work closely. Players speculated that the BJ would be under pressure for further action to try and loosen its tight policies.

“The BJ needs to work harder to stimulate the economy,” Allan Edwards, co-CEO of The Markets Are Open said bluntly. “Otherwise, they’re screwed.”

“Stay away from the Japanese stocks for now.” Andy “Raw” Kibbens, star analyst and co-CEO at The Markets Are Open said at the close of the Nikkei last week. “They’re in for a rough ride.”

US stocks inched down as well as Japanese fears spread globally. Large sums of money were flowing into US bonds and JGBs.

A Handful of Nothing

Apple shares were down 24 cents or 0.10% at the close of trading last week. The coming week may lead to more “fluctuations” in the share price as remarked by Ukrainian Globalist (UG).

http://globalist.org.ua/eng/1446284-the-djia-apple-inc-nasdaq-aapl-and-ford-motor-company-nyse-f-fluctuating-on-the-verge

“Apple Inc. (NASDAQ: AAPL) shares went through substantial fluctuations today, with Apple gaining and losing throughout the trading from -1% to 0.2%.” Igor Tringlers of UG stated on his web site.

“Yes, stocks usually fluctuate,” commented star analyst and co-CEO of The Markets Are Open, Andy “Raw” Kibbens, “That’s just what they do. He isn’t saying anything new or useful. And from -1% to 0.2%? How is that even considered to be fluctuations? That’s pathetic. Igor Tringlers probably isn’t even a real name.”

“Ford Motor Company (NYSE: F) lost footing in the beginning of trading and dropped by 1,5%.” Was the continuation of the headline on UGs website.

“When I hear “lost its footing,” I expect a 10% drop, not a 1% drop.” Said Raw as his face began to turn red. “This guy should be fired from his day job, or his night job or whatever this is. Block this web site with our filters right now. I never want to see it again.”

Ford shares closed at $11.77, down a little more than 1% at the close of trading on Friday.

Bac to $12?

New York - Bank of America the largest U.S. bank, fell 1.15% to $12.87 in Friday trading on Wall Street. "It is like we are in a time warp." Remarked Andy “Raw” Kibbens star analyst and co-CEO of The Markets Are Open. He continued, "I have not seen BAC at such low prices since 2009, it is if we are in 2009 today." All of this has happened despite Fitch, one of the three major rating agencies on Wall Street, raising BAC preferred stock credit rating a step above junk status. Kibbens commentated, "this is great news, the better credit rating, the more secure an investment is, the higher the stock will usually go."

Raw continued to look for support in BAC's stock price "well I thought there was solid support at $13 it had looked like we had formed a base, but now we are under $13 what do I do now? Will it go back to $13 can it drop to $12; it is really in no mans territory." This stock drop has persisted after BAC reported Q1 numbers that disappointed as most of the profit could be attributed to one time gains.

Hits the JackPot

“POT!” were the echoing words of Andy “Raw” Kibbens as he ran to each cubicle near his trading desk before the opening bell this morning screaming to his coworkers in delight. Potash Corp of Saskatchewan received a takeover offer from BHP Billiton at $130 which was immediately declined by the company. Potash Corp shares shot up past $147 CAD on the news as the shorts were forced to cover. The TSX and even the S&P 500 were taken much higher today as investors ploughed their Potash profits back into the market.

"What is happening on the Potash side is good for the economy," Luc Girard, portfolio manager at Desjardins Securities in Montreal, told Bloomberg. "On the TSX, every company except for telecommunications or the bank side . . . are potential takeover targets."

“Finally a takeover offer.” Said Kibbens, co-CEO of The Markets Are Open (TMAO), as he locked in a 53% gain within just weeks of buying the stock for his hedge fund. “The stock is way overvalued now,” said Allan Edwards, also co-CEO as he sold the remainder of his Potash shares for his clients and TMAO. “I’m glad we’re out of that one,” he continued “I can buy some real POT now!” He joked. Agriculture stocks were on fire today as the hostile bidding lifted the entire sector.

Is it time to Bac up the Truck?

EDINBURGH, UK - Bank of America hit a brand new 52-week low today as investors dump there shares on banking, economic, and even environmental fears. The low unemployment rate is keeping the economy in a slump as people are defaulting on their mortgage and credit payments. “Obama needs to create jobs.” Andy “Raw” Kibbens, co-CEO of The Markets Are Open repeated at a public speech at the start of a concert in Edinburgh earlier today. “We must work together!” he shouted to the thousands of fans. Bank of America is hitting resistance and is coming to a technical buying point which could mark the beginning of a new long term bullish trend. The stock hit $13.06 today as the market turmoil was too much for investors.

Cisco Duck

Cisco Systems reported net income of $1.9 billion or $0.33 cents per share for the fourth quarter. Net income came in 73.7% higher than the same quarter last year, and sales were 27% higher. Yet the stock got hammered today as these results missed analyst expectations and gave a hint of a slowdown for business at the networking giant. “Cisco has a good business model, but it’s not good enough in this environment,” said Andy “Raw” Kibbens, star analyst and co-CEO of The Markets Are Open. “There is more competition from the small networking companies, and believe me, they have an excess of growth.” The stock was down a whopping 10% as the earnings results disappointed and as analysts came in to turn the rubble into sawdust.

Analysts at BMO downgraded the stock from Outperform to Market Perform, lowering their price target to $23. An analyst at Oppenheimer cut the rating down by the same amount as BMO. Morgan Stanley gave Cisco an Equal-weight rating. “The downgrades are certainly inline,” Kibbens commented, “I’m not exactly sure was an Equal-weight rating is… I see at as a Hold of some sort. I say cut your Cisco position down to $0 and move into something better.” The company reported a mixed quarter and a weak future outlook for its business. “What do you expect?” Kibben remarked, “$0.33 cents per share is pocket change. Intel reports a beautiful $0.51 cents per share, trades lower than Cisco, and is expecting an even larger surplus of juicy profits next quarter. If you have any intelligence, switch to Intel,” he told reporters. Intel trades at approximately half the PE ratio of Cisco.

Roll up the Rim to Win

Research In Motion’s (RIMM) stock has been under heavy fire despite the company releasing brand new products and services recently into the market. With an easy to grasp “fresh but familiar” operating system, redesigned web browsing experience, and a full QWERTY slide out keyboard, the new Torch has everything users want and more. Though the talk of other countries threatening to ban the BlackBerry has pressured the stock price.




In India there are building pressures that the government would like to monitor all encrypted data including BBM, emails, and web browsing on the BlackBerry. Many other countries have jumped aboard, including Lebanon and the UAE. Research In Motion in fact does not even know the so-desired security codes that these countries want to monitor and watch over their people. The codes are generated and are different for each phone, making it extremely difficult and nearly impossible in today’s day and age to decrypt; hence why it is used for secure transfer of data. “If they can’t deal with the Internet, they should shut it off,” said Mike Lazaridis, co-CEO of RIM. The internet uses many secure protocols similar to the BlackBerry, than anyone with a computer can use to transfer secure data.

The government in Dubai has agreed that there will be no such ban on Blackberry devices. “There are other ways to communicate in other ways,” minister Aboul-nah Yahassva Bin Abdul said, “so there no point to banning the BlackBerry.”

“We love our Blackberry. We don’t want the government to ban them,” said Vazalanaman Katanapabatha, a spokeswomen in India.

There are various ways to transfer encrypted information over cell phones and using common but secure internet protocols. When asked why only BlackBerry was targeted, a Saudi spokesperson declined to comment.

RIM may have reached an agreement in Saudi Arabia to help them monitor emails, but the tech giant said there was no way they would compromise the security of their products – the key selling point of the BlackBerry in the United States. Even president Obama insisted on using a BlackBerry as they are the most secure device in the world.

Before the deal was reached, residents of Saudi Arabia were frantically trying to sell their BlackBerrys. “We usually sell 2 BlackBerry’s a day, but now we sell none,” said Mouhammad Wahhma Abdoullah, owner of a local business store in Saudi Arabia. “What have we done to deserve this?”

One resident of Saudi Arabia pulled out a small piece of paper, wrote some gibberish on it, and showed reporters. “No one knows what this means except me. Only I know what it means,” he pranced, “It is encrypted. And I do not even need a BlackBerry to pass this around. The government should ban paper!” He shouted in the streets. The resident was later arrested within the same hour.

Some government officials are happy with a ban, as they believe BlackBerry can be used to spread pornography among teenagers and young adults. “The BlackBerry is also addictive!” said Yassuhm-Nasrhan Jaffar Bin Seida Bin Wahkhad Nafralah, a government spokesman in the capital Riyadh. Saudi Arabia does however allow the drinking of coffee, but only in small doses.

In related news, Tim Horton’s (THI) reported a surge in profit. The coffee and donut maker reported strong numbers from all of its various menu items. The stock jumped over 6% on the news.

A Mediocre Number

Google reported a profit of $6.45 a share after the closing bell last night. This was much higher than least year’s quarter of $5.36; however, analysts were expecting Google to earn $6.52 a share.

The stock got hammered after hours, down more than $20. The stock price hit a wall earlier this year when Google decided to pull out of China. It could have a major effect on future earnings. This is the first time in 2 years that the search giant has lagged behind analyst estimates.

Intel Inside the House

Intel smashed estimates after hours today reporting per share profit of $0.51 for the second quarter. Intel beat analyst expectations of $10.25B in sales, by having $10.8B in sales. They also raised estimates for Q3 to between $11.2B and $12B which is incredible.

This is no doubt the best quarter anyone has ever seen from Intel. Jim Cramer from CNBC called this one perfectly and predicted that Intel would have blowout earnings, weeks ago.

Intel is up 3.7% at midday.

Al KO'd

Alcoa reported a profit of income from continuing operations of $137 million or $0.13 per share for their second quarter of 2010. Revenue for the company was up 6% from the first quarter. Alcoa did this despite a lower price of aluminum than in the first quarter. Signs of Alcoa benefiting from the U.S. economy improving are obvious. In many markets Alcoa saw strong revenue growth from the previous quarter with packaging (+17%), commercial transportation (+10%), building and construction (+9%), distribution (+5%), industrial gas turbines (+5%) and aerospace (+5%).

The CEO stated "We improved profits and revenues and maintained our solid cash position,” said Klaus Kleinfeld, Alcoa Chairman and CEO. “The top and bottom line growth was driven by higher volumes from stronger end markets and continued gains from our productivity programs."


Recently Alcoa was trading up 1.4% to $11.02