Here's the story: Brian Cashman uses "Brady Bunch" plotline for inspiration

Think Brian Cashman lost his mind this offseason by picking up Javier Vazquez and Nick Johnson? Wait until you hear what he had planned for this October. It's straight out of a '70s sitcom.

Cash told this to Kevin Kernan of the New York Post (hat tip to WasWatching ) and emphasis added:

"It's kind of like the Derby, Preakness, Belmont, races are longer, shorter," he said. "We won the long race in terms of qualification, whether it's the wild card or Eastern Division title. Now we have a shorter race we have to run in a five-game set, so your roster strengths get analyzed differently or get weighted differently."

When he was asked what he makes of the way his horses have limped to the finish line, Cashman, showing his TV side, said, "I liken it to the Brady Bunch and when they had the phony football playbook. If you are advance scouting us here in September, I think we are holding back all our big plays."

The "Brady Bunch" is his inspiration? What, is Cashman going to have A-Rod get hit in the face with a football and scream, "Oh, my nose"? Is Joe Girardi going to be rocking a perm, a la Mike Brady? Will Wes Parker, the ghost of Don Drysdale, and Joe Namath show up to give the team a pep talk?

Here are some other "Brady Bunch" plotlines that just might work for the Yankees this October:

*  A model volcano explodes at Yankee Stadium to thwart a Twins rally.

*  The new "God Bless America" singer: Davy Jones!

*  Best pre-game meal: Pork chops and apple sauce. That's swell!

*  Forget the team going from the hotel to the ballpark by bus. Station wagons are the way to go -- until gold prospector Jim Backus steals the vehicle, that is!

*  Yanks get revenge against Carl Pavano -- first by telling him, "Baby talk, baby talk, it's a wonder you can walk," then by "accidentally" trapping him in Sam the Butcher's meat locker.

Geez, let's hope that the necklace A.J. Burnett wears around his neck doesn't secretly have a tiki idol attached, or all is doomed, anyway!


Do you have any "Brady Bunch" anecdotes to contribute? Tell us about it!